PORNED

"Men weren't made to have sex with bodies, they were designed to make love to souls." - Matt Chandler

Today is an incredibly tough topic, but nonetheless an essential one. As we speak, pornography, sexual addiction and infidelity are running rampant through our country, ripping families and marriages apart. The family unit is on the verge of extinction and absolutely nothing is being done about it. Before you tune me out or dismiss what I'm about to say because porn, sex addiction or extramarital affair doesn't apply to you, I want to plead with you not to. Every one of us, and I'm talking mainly to guys, are at fault in this area and need to make some radical changes in our life. Let me explain.

The concept of love and of marriage was not invented by man, but created by God who made both sexes. He made them uniquely different in such a way that they need the other and function best when together. He made our bodies unique as well, as a perfect fit when combined, and gave us sex as a gift and a way to bring us closer. Since God created us, I think it's safe to say he knows us best and only fitting to see what his word, the Bible, has to say about sex.

In the book of Ecclesiastes, we read about the wise king Solomon who God has given us as an expert on the topic. The dude had 700 wives, 300 hookers and got more action that any man could ever imagine. Let's fast forward to later in his life and see what he has to say about women.

"I find more bitter than death, woman, who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains....While I was still searching and not finding - I found one true man among a thousand, but not one true woman among them all." - Ecc 7:26 & 28

Sounds like our man Solomon is pretty bitter. This certainly isn't what you would expect from a guy who had 1000 women at his beck and call. The last part of what he says about finding one true man but no women is extremely important for us to understand. I think Matt Chandler said it best in one of his talks. He said, "Solomon experienced how tough it is for guys to have deep relationships with other guys. Every now and then you find one guy that you really click with on a personal, soul level and you become great friends. But he didn't find this connection with any of his 1000 women. That's because when Solomon sat down to dinner with a girl and she started to unpack her dreams and passions, all he could think about was her breasts and what it would be like to get her in bed."

Solomon was addicted to sex and so are we. In making his relationships with women all about their body and what they could give, he stripped them of their soul. I want to argue that you and I are no different. Any time we choose to look at a women who is not our wife or entertain a lustful thought about one, we trample her soul and become more and more addicted to merely bodily sex. Years of thinking about women in this way, only concerned about the wonder of their bodies, will leave any man, single or married, severely addicted and completely incapable of making love to the most important part of a women, her soul. It's no wonder we fail at marriage.

Nowadays, bodily sexual experiences can easily be had at a moments notice either in person or on the computer but they can never satisfy, just ask Solomon. We give Solomon a hard time for his 1000 women but in our own mind are we any different? The typical course of most marriages seems to be that men enjoy bodily sex with their wife for awhile and then grow bored. Once that happens, they will either secretly pursue some new sexual experience or treat their wife poorly to chase her off so they can do so out in the open. Intimately knowing a women both in body and soul is extremely rare and takes time, but this is how sex was meant to be.

So what should we do? Single guys, if you don't start right now "taking every thought captive" (1 Corinthians 10:5) to think about women in the right way then you will dig yourself into such a hole of bodily addiction that you'll never get out and your future marriage will be subject to failure before it even begins. If you even think to yourself for a second that you'll have fun now and not regret it later, you're wrong. The damage that you will cause to yourself and to your future wife, family and to countless others won't be worth any temporary satisfaction or pleasure you experience, I promise. Married guys, we can in absolutely no way "give the devil a single foothold" (Eph 4:27) and must "flee from sexual immorality" (1 Cor 6:18) at all costs. There is nothing more wonderful or pleasing to God than a godly marriage and a godly family, and there is nothing that Satan despises more. The devil will stop at nothing to ruin your current or future marriage, but will you fight for it? Our world has been porned, sexed, and seduced into thinking about women in the wrong way, will you fight to be a man that loves both body and soul today?

To listen to a great talk on this topic by pastor Matt Chandler CLICK HERE