PORNED

"Men weren't made to have sex with bodies, they were designed to make love to souls." - Matt Chandler

Today is an incredibly tough topic, but nonetheless an essential one. As we speak, pornography, sexual addiction and infidelity are running rampant through our country, ripping families and marriages apart. The family unit is on the verge of extinction and absolutely nothing is being done about it. Before you tune me out or dismiss what I'm about to say because porn, sex addiction or extramarital affair doesn't apply to you, I want to plead with you not to. Every one of us, and I'm talking mainly to guys, are at fault in this area and need to make some radical changes in our life. Let me explain.

The concept of love and of marriage was not invented by man, but created by God who made both sexes. He made them uniquely different in such a way that they need the other and function best when together. He made our bodies unique as well, as a perfect fit when combined, and gave us sex as a gift and a way to bring us closer. Since God created us, I think it's safe to say he knows us best and only fitting to see what his word, the Bible, has to say about sex.

In the book of Ecclesiastes, we read about the wise king Solomon who God has given us as an expert on the topic. The dude had 700 wives, 300 hookers and got more action that any man could ever imagine. Let's fast forward to later in his life and see what he has to say about women.

"I find more bitter than death, woman, who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains....While I was still searching and not finding - I found one true man among a thousand, but not one true woman among them all." - Ecc 7:26 & 28

Sounds like our man Solomon is pretty bitter. This certainly isn't what you would expect from a guy who had 1000 women at his beck and call. The last part of what he says about finding one true man but no women is extremely important for us to understand. I think Matt Chandler said it best in one of his talks. He said, "Solomon experienced how tough it is for guys to have deep relationships with other guys. Every now and then you find one guy that you really click with on a personal, soul level and you become great friends. But he didn't find this connection with any of his 1000 women. That's because when Solomon sat down to dinner with a girl and she started to unpack her dreams and passions, all he could think about was her breasts and what it would be like to get her in bed."

Solomon was addicted to sex and so are we. In making his relationships with women all about their body and what they could give, he stripped them of their soul. I want to argue that you and I are no different. Any time we choose to look at a women who is not our wife or entertain a lustful thought about one, we trample her soul and become more and more addicted to merely bodily sex. Years of thinking about women in this way, only concerned about the wonder of their bodies, will leave any man, single or married, severely addicted and completely incapable of making love to the most important part of a women, her soul. It's no wonder we fail at marriage.

Nowadays, bodily sexual experiences can easily be had at a moments notice either in person or on the computer but they can never satisfy, just ask Solomon. We give Solomon a hard time for his 1000 women but in our own mind are we any different? The typical course of most marriages seems to be that men enjoy bodily sex with their wife for awhile and then grow bored. Once that happens, they will either secretly pursue some new sexual experience or treat their wife poorly to chase her off so they can do so out in the open. Intimately knowing a women both in body and soul is extremely rare and takes time, but this is how sex was meant to be.

So what should we do? Single guys, if you don't start right now "taking every thought captive" (1 Corinthians 10:5) to think about women in the right way then you will dig yourself into such a hole of bodily addiction that you'll never get out and your future marriage will be subject to failure before it even begins. If you even think to yourself for a second that you'll have fun now and not regret it later, you're wrong. The damage that you will cause to yourself and to your future wife, family and to countless others won't be worth any temporary satisfaction or pleasure you experience, I promise. Married guys, we can in absolutely no way "give the devil a single foothold" (Eph 4:27) and must "flee from sexual immorality" (1 Cor 6:18) at all costs. There is nothing more wonderful or pleasing to God than a godly marriage and a godly family, and there is nothing that Satan despises more. The devil will stop at nothing to ruin your current or future marriage, but will you fight for it? Our world has been porned, sexed, and seduced into thinking about women in the wrong way, will you fight to be a man that loves both body and soul today?

To listen to a great talk on this topic by pastor Matt Chandler CLICK HERE

This week, while reading through Holy Week passages with our church, I was struck by Jesus' love for me in John 17.  After praying for Himself, that he would carry out the will of the Father, and for his disciples, Jesus prayed for you and I.  He prays "for those who will believe" in the gospel message, that we would be close with the father and close with each other.  Before Jesus was arrested and went to the cross, he thought and prayed for me!  Wow.  This realization has helped me to understand more fully that he died personally for me and brings new meaning to the following words in Ephesians 2:8-10.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

What a gracious gift for Jesus to give up his life!  With this verse in mind, listen to these words from Church Colson's book, The Faith: 

"The Bible tells us our salvation is by faith alone, it is not a faith that is alone. (Too many people stop reading after verses 8 and 9; verse 10 tells us we are saved "to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do.") This is where it gets costly, for true Christianity is counter cultural.  It means death to self, giving up self-control." (p. 116)

There truly is no other response to Jesus' sacrifice than to live a life of service to Him.  Colson hits this nail on the head a page earlier.

"Christianity is about a lot more than what God can do for you... it's about God.... The more we know him the more we want to be like Him. And this will drive us to act like Him.  Jesus, remember, emptied Himself of the godhead's glory in order to call us brothers - and we are called to imitate His humility in putting ourselves at other's service." (p. 115)

This is why you and I do what we do.  We don't live, work, or go to school for ourselves, but so that we can serve others in love the way that Christ has served and sacrificed for us.  We can have no better reminder today, on the eve of easter, than the body of our Lord than lay dead in a tomb for us many years ago.  Tomorrow, celebrate His life and the life that you now get to live for Him.  

Life of the Gardener - Part 1 (Know your plants)

You as a leader have been given ownership of a big plot of dirt. Doesn't sound galmorous I know but stick with me for a second. I want you to think of your team, business or family as that plot of dirt and we're going to call it your garden. Within that garden you have all sorts of people, these are your plants. As a gardener the first things you must be able to do is identify and know your plants. They are all different, require different amounts of water and they all have different needs. Some need lots of praise, others lots of correction. Some are outgoing while others are introverts. You need to get to know your plants so that you can know how to tend to them best. They all have different gifts and talents as well and they cannot all be managed, parented, coached or gardened in the same manor. How well do you know the plants that are in your garden? What can you do to get to know them better? Asking questions, going out of your way to spend extra time togehther, and taking interest in the interests of others are great ways to get started. Listen to what the Bible has to say about getting to know the people that have been entrusted to your care.

"It is He (God) who gave some to be apostles, some to be to be prophets, some to be evageltists, and some to be pators and teachers...so that the body of Christ may be built up" Eph 4:11-12

God created all his people with different gifts so that his team, called his body, might function at its best. Your garden is the same way. The combination of plants in your care can come together to form a dynamite combination is your know them well and use each according to their strenghts.

"Train up and child in the way it should go...." - Prov 22:6 This vere in the origianl Hebrew language was translated "train up a child according to their bent...." "Bent" here means that each child is angled differently, designed differently, and has a unique way that they work best. As a parent is it your responsiblility, with the Lord's help, to determine the bent of that child, and raise them up accordingly. However, you must face the facts here. This means that not every kid will be a pro athlete, singer, doctor, laywer, or CEO. I don't even think that college is for all kids. You must let you kids, or those that you are leading develop according to there God given strenghts. As a leader it is your repsonsiblilty to identify though strengths and help bring them out.